It has been a gloomy day in Chicago, I have tons of work to do, and have been laying in bed most of the morning. Publishing 19 posts is starting to get a bit difficult because I unfortunately still have school, homework, extra curricular activities, and somewhere in there I just want to relax. I have been piling activities onto my plate to become more active and the stress is slowly catching up. I am promising myself that I will just keep moving forward and try to be as productive as possible each day. Which honestly has been going pretty well, but today It's rainy and I want to lay in bed. So I am publishing a picture with a short description. For the next 14 articles I will try my best to write quality pieces, but sometimes I know that life will catch up with me and I won't have a chance to write a longer article.
So I am calling these moments: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Some days I will be sharing flash back memories to my childhood instead of an article.
Today's Picture:
The picture on the left makes me so happy because that young child is still a part of me. I still put on my sunglasses and have a very serious face. Many times people think I am angry, when I really am not. My resting face just happens to be serious and apparently my face has been like this since I was a kid. I am actually a pretty approachable person, my face unfortunately, says otherwise.
I have been working in the restaurant industry for the past
four summers. I have not been the best waitress but I have learned A LOT. I can
still remember my first day when my aunt (family owned business) gave me the
task of sweeping at the end of the night and I had to tell her that I had no
idea how to sweep (embarrassing I know). This is one of the first things I
learned on the job. While I have learned simple tasks such as sweeping,
clearing tables, balancing a handful of drinks on a tray, I have more
importantly learned how to become a better person. I have had a pretty easy
life and am extremely thankful for everything I have. It is easy for people of
my generation to feel privileged. I have grown with loving parents whose only
flaw was having too much heart. They have provided me with the luxuries of a
roof over my head, a smart phone, a kitchen full of food, clothes, makeup,
honestly the list can go on and on. So when a girl like me who has been so greatly
blessed gets her first job well, lets just say it brought me back down to
earth.
I can be a very rude and aggressive person, which I am not
proud to say. I used to go into places, for example, restaurants and was
impatient because I did not understand how many tasks a server has to juggle at
once. I was the worst type of customer! I did not realize this until I worked
in the service industry.
The most important thing that I have learned from the
service industry is that no one is better than anyone. Even though, my teachers
and parents taught me to have good morals, I still made the mistake of feeling
privileged and I am now ashamed of the handful of times that I was not as kind
as I was taught to be. As a waitress I have dealt with some extremely kind
customers as well as rude ones. And let’s just say that it’s much easier and
satisfying to serve kind customers. Working in a restaurant allowed me to
really understand how stressful it can be to serve others.
Rudeness and aggression will not get us anywhere in life. I
had the misconstrued idea that a successful person was supposed to be demanding
and aggressive. But the best way to become successful in life is to be kind to
everyone you encounter. Being kind and respectful can be hard at times, and
that is exactly why a strong person is one who is kind. Aggression to me is no
longer a sign of power, but rather a sign of weakness.
So I’m calling myself
out for all the times that I was impatient and rude to people who did not
deserve it and am honestly sorry, I am changing!
Waitressing has also been extremely fun at times, I love the
rush when every table is full, and I work with awesome people who I can call my
friends now. I am so proud of my family for running a successful business and am
thankful to be a part of it.
You would think 19 years would be enough time for me to get
used to the world around me and figure out what I want to do with my life. NOPE.
I have never been so confused. I am endlessly struggling to figure out what I
really want and what I need to do to get there.
Like so many people my age, I am unsure of what I will be
doing when I graduate in 2 years. I love
my major, but can’t help but feeling that I am letting some loved ones and myself
down. I went from the intention of going to law school after graduation to now
wanting to dive into the world of marketing. The problem with knowing what you
want to do with your life is the upsetting realization that just because you
have a plan and are stuck on it doesn’t mean it’s going to work out. My entire
life I was 100% sure that I was going to be a bada** lawyer. My goal was to get
into the best law school. The problem is that imagining and dreaming about it
was a waste of time. I should have been acting
towards my plan instead. It’s not too late for me to get my act together and be
a lawyer but now I am left with the question of how bad do I want it? When did
I lose focus of my law school plan and why?
Could I possibly be happy in a different career? The thing is that having a
dream erased is terrifying because I no longer have a clear “dream.” I find
myself left with the lingering thoughts of years at law school, with thoughts
of how much I enjoy writing and would have loved to major in journalism and
English, how I LOVE movies but am terrified to major in anything related to
cinematography. So I guess the thing is that I can kind of see myself going in
different directions. But that is exactly what I do NOT want. I want one clear path that will keep me satisfied for the
rest of my life.
Silly me!!! Life will never work this way! Unfortunately I
can’t get 5 bachelors degrees in the span of 4 years. I have to pick one major.
So far I am genuinely happy with marketing and I have been enjoying my classes.
However, I don’t exactly know how I plan to use my degree after college. I
guess the only thing I can do right now is take it one day at a time. I have to
get it through my head that there will be a lot of trial and error before I
find a career that sticks with me and that’s okay. I can continue to
pressure myself to work hard, but there should be no pressure or stress now
about what will happen in the future.
I have to learn to fulfill myself without the worry of how
my career will define me or make me recognizable. Growing up, part of my
problem was that I wanted to be extraordinary and I didn’t have any clear way
of getting there. What I should have wanted, and what I want now, is to be
happy. I found that I will be happy if I grow up to have an honest job, love my
family and friends, and mostly if I continuously work towards becoming a better
person. Because the thing is we are all
extraordinary just by being true to ourselves.
Day 2 is not much of an article but rather a list of some random
things that I am fond of. This is a chance for people to get to know me, as well
as a chance for me to share my current interests.
1.Rain:
I have always found relaxation in the sound of rain. I highly recommend
listening to the sound of rain while doing work. This website is awesome!
2.Learning
from other people: I love learning
from people; it’s how I best remember things. Sometimes I wish our lives were
like movies, so that I could see what everyone experiences on a daily basis.
3.Walking:
One of the most therapeutic things for me to do. This is one of the reasons why
I love cities. There is always a buzz and somewhere to be, and walking is the
best mode of transportation.
July 2015- NYC is a great place for walking!
4.The Ocean:
Another therapeutic experience. I love how small and alive I feel when I am
near an ocean. It gives me a chance to forget about my day-to-day worries and I
can just take in the waves and the salty ocean air.
Summer 2015 Newport, RI
Favorite quote!
5.Dancing/watching
Dancing with the stars: I love to dance, but don’t know how. I like to lead
when I dance, which doesn’t make sense since I do not have a dancing bone in my
body. I basically make a fool out of myself every time I get on a dance floor.
But that’s okay because it’s fun. The great thing about dancing is that anyone
can do it. You might not be good at dancing but give it your best. If you are
on the same dance floor as me, trust me you will never be the worst dancer at
the party. *I should probably take some dance lessons.
One of my favorite dances on the show, very cute!
6.Sleep:If I do not get enough sleep I turn into an
angry lion. Runaway!
7.Coffee:
I love it so much that I have written poems about it and compared myself to it.
I’m at the sad point in my life where I get a headache if I do not drink at
least one cup a day (a.k.a the point of no return).
8.Spending
time alone: I am learning to become a more social person, and am genuinely
enjoying spending time with others. But by nature I am an introvert and still
need some alone time to recharge.
9.Baseball:
It is the one thing in my life that always makes me feel young. Every game,
whether I’m watching it on TV or listening to it on the radio, I feel like a five-year-old
kid at their first baseball game.
My 2014 High School senior quote
Summer 2015 first time at Yankee Stadium
10.Frank Sinatra: He is one of my
favorites on this list. I love his music and personality.
11.Musical theatre (appreciation for all
theatre and performances, really): I get nervous from simply giving class
presentations. I will never be a performer, but, boy, do I appreciate
performances. I get a rush whenever I watch musical theatre.
"Nowadays" -Chicago (film 2002)
12.The East coast: I haven’t visited much
of the world, or the U.S., for that matter, but I’ve been fortunate to visit some
Northeast states and I loved them! I would actually love to move out there
sometime after college.
13.My family: (Immediate and extended)
although I may have trust issues, I have learned to trust my family members and
have found that they truly have my best interests at heart. *I need to tell
them that I love them more often.
14.Movies: This quote from Martin Scorsese
sums up my admiration for movies: “Movies touch our hearts and awaken our vision, and change the
way we see things. They take us to other places, they open doors and minds.
Movies are the memories of our life time, we need to keep them alive.”
15.Bagels and Donuts: No words. (btw, NYC
Bagels are the best!)
16.T.V. shows: Sex and City, Mad Men, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Cheers
One of my favorite scenes from Mad Men
17.Navy blue: My favorite color and my go-to
neutral. So many times I have to stop myself from wearing navy because of how
often I wear it.
18.Holidays: Easter, Mothers/Fathers day,
4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas
Christmas 2015
19.Brunch: I get to sleep in and still
have a filling meal. I don’t have brunch too often, but when I do, it is quite
a treat.
It wasn’t easy to come up with a list of 19 of my favorite
things; it required a lot of brainstorming. I’d love to hear from anyone who
likes some of the things on this list too J
